I have heard the saying “comparison is the thief of joy” and have always thought of it in terms of comparing ourselves to other people. However, I think many of us actually compare ourselves to a former version of ourselves when it comes to dance.
Maybe we are not as flexible or agile today as we were last year or 10 years ago. Our leg may not kick as high. We might struggle to remember choreography or to get up off of the floor as quickly as we used to.
Obviously we may (temporarily) lose some of our flexibility, strength and technique if we don’t use it frequently, but we don’t have to beat ourselves up over it and we don’t have to just accept it. Here are 3 ways we can tackle this unproductive self-comparison:
1. Accept the current reality, decide you want to change it, and then act. By simply deciding you want to be better and then showing up for yourself consistently, you can get back to (and even exceed) your prior level of ability. First, identify exactly what you want to improve upon, then get to work. If you want to retain choreography like you used to, take many different classes so you can re-train your brain. If you want your technique to be what it once was, sign up for classes designed for that specific purpose. Set your intention, make your plan, then show up. If you focus and show up consistently, there is no way you will not improve.
2. Focus on new aspects of your dancing. Even if you aren’t as strong as you once were in certain areas, you can still become amazing in other aspects of your dancing. If you have accepted that you’re no longer able to do crazy turn sequences and you’re not interested in doing that anymore, focus on something else. Work on increasing your confidence in class, dancing bigger, emoting more, learning new styles, or improving your musicality. Don’t keep mourning the loss of a certain skill or ability: embrace the chance to work on something different!
A personal, non-dance example of this is my post-baby stomach. After going through pregnancy, my mid-section is not the same as it used to be. What was once firm and svelte, is now much softer due to housing a 10-pound human inside my body (and due to one too many cravings of Dunkin Donuts hash-browns!). I used to stress SO much that my stomach would never bounce back, until one day my mom reminded me, “Even if your abs are not the same, you can focus on gaining strength and fitness literally everywhere else on your body!” Since then, I have *mostly* stopped dwelling on the one thing that has declined, and tried to focus on what I can improve.
3. Embrace the fact that you are simply a different dancer than you once were. We evolve mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally during our lives. This evolution is a beautiful thing, and it carries over into our dancing. Our quality of movement, ability to hear music, and appreciation of our craft has most likely grown over time. Don’t expect to be exactly the same as you used to be. Appreciate the new version of you and acknowledge that your maturity will benefit you in dance. I love this quote:
“We are not the same person we were 5, 10, 15 years ago, and It would be a sorry state if we were.” – Deepak Chopra
Take a moment to appreciate who you are in this exact moment. Think about what your current self brings to the table and thank your former self for getting you to this precise point in your life.
If there is something you want to change, I encourage you to get to work. But don’t be mean to yourself in the process. You are who you are supposed to be and where you are meant to be.
Written by: Jenny De Tore, founder/owner, Powerhouse Dance
You can follow Jenny and Powerhouse on Instagram: @jennydetore @powerhousedancesj